Help Them Help You!!

Anyone ever heard of the freshman 15, what about the newlywed's ever so common 'happy fat', the mommy pudge, or the empty nester's extra fluff. These are things that go hand in hand with crucial changes in a persons life. You see when the support system around you isn't 100% on board it can be extremely difficult to have lasting success and stay motivated. Sometimes they do it intentionally but I would say that 95% of the time they don't even realize they are doing it.

I have several friends who are currently going through this, and that is what has spawned this blog. I got a text today, a call yesterday, and had a talk at bible study not long ago all venting and needing some feed back on what to do when family members and friends have a hard time with your new healthy lifestyle.

As you all know, Justin and I have been fortunate enough to have each other to lean on during the last half of my weight loss journey, but it hasn't always been that way for me. Don't get me wrong having a spouse to hold you accountable and keep you on target makes eating right and exercising so much easier, but like I said it hasn't always been that way. My history of attempting life change started and failed a long time before I met my sweet husband.

How many of you know a couple who struggle with this exact situation: "He just doesn't understand what I am going through, he can eat what ever he wants and not gain an ounce"

Or the friends that say "Oh come on you can have that piece of cake, you deserve it! You've been working so hard."

Or the husband that is so sweet to fix (or buy) dinner while you are running the kids to their practices but you come home to enchiladas with extra cheese and a cheesecake for dessert. He brought you this because he knows they're your favorite and you are seething mad because you cannot eat them.

You see they are trying to make you happy, trying to be kind and supportive, and trying to love you but what they don't realize is that they are tempting you and causing you to take 1 step forward and 2 steps back. I am not going to lie to you this is a tough situation. You love these people and they love you! That is why this conflict is so tough. The best way to handle it is to address it straight up.

When you decide what eating plan and exercise routine works for you, let them know exactly what your plan is. Ask them to hold you accountable, or take it a step further and ask them to join you. Let them know the best thing they can do to support you is not to tempt you, and to encourage you to stay on plan.

1 Corinthians 8:13 says "Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause him to fall."

If they are eating your favorite thing in the world (for me that would be carrot cake) and you know that just one bite of that can send you into a downward spiral of junk eating and a backslide for the record books, let them know that. Just simply ask them not to bring it around you. You would never offer an alcoholic a glass of the Merlot they used to call their favorite would you? Or someone trying to quit smoking a puff on your cigarette? No that's just cruel. The same is said for someone who is trying to break a cycle of bad eating.

My father is a recovering alcoholic. He tells me all the time that if he ever had to restrict his eating he would go crazy. This coming from a man who quit drinking cold turkey 5.5 years ago and never looked back. Junk food addiction is real, and we should be able to talk to each other about it.

Have a real conversation with them, let them know exactly what you need for them to support you. Once you are strong in your will it wont be as hard to turn down tasty treats, and once you are at a place that it wont cause a back slide or binge you will be able to have small quantities of those treats!

I know it may sound nice on paper and you are thinking yeah whatever Ryan, you can say that all you want but you don't know how they will react. Well, no I don't know them, but if they really love you they will want you to be happy, and if you're not happy with the way you feel in your current state they will help you get to that happy place, you just have to be straight with them and hold strong to your convictions!

photo credit:www.myrecipes.com -uniquehealthandwellness.com 

Better Than Vegan Dinner Party

Justin and I are constantly getting asked how we have achieved and maintained successful weight loss.  The actual equation for weight loss is simple, eat less and exercise more. However there are literally thousands of diet plans, eating guidelines, diet programs that come with a diet, book stores have aisles dedicated to only weight loss and weight loss cookbooks. You can't turn on the tv, open a magazine, get on Facebook or twitter or even fox news with out hearing about the latest trend in weight loss.

Justin and I chose an approach that many would see as extreme, but it has really worked very well for us. I could talk about plant based eating for hours, I love to educate friends and family about our lifestyle because not only have we had great successes with watching the number on the scale drop, we just feel better!

Justin and I are blessed with amazing friends who are willing to try new things, so we hosted our first dinner party since moving to VA, and we served all Better Than Vegan food.

What is BTV, you ask? Oh I am glad you did! Justin and I coined the term when we first began the Daniel Fast in January 2012. The Daniel Fast is a 21 day partial fast where you eliminate all meat, dairy, added sugar, white flour, yeast, and any chemical from your diet. You essentially eat only fruits, veggies, whole grains, beans, nuts, and water to drink. This is meant to take your focus off of food and place that focus on the Lord and using your body in service to Him. It is meant to take that idol of food out of your life, and allow you to worship only Him.

In the first few days of the fast it isn't all smiles and happy feelings, in fact it is terrible. As you go cold turkey eliminating all of the processed junk and chemicals from your diet your body literally goes through a detox, and you are like a drug addict during detox...it isn't pretty. Justin coined the term Worse Than Vegan, because at least vegans can eat bread.

But just as alcoholics come out of the detox feeling better than ever and loving their new addiction free life, so did we. We began to feel lighter, in control, closer to each other, and most importantly closer to the Lord. We were able to take the control back from the food that had reigned over us for so many years. After the 21 day Daniel Fast was over, we decided to keep going. So Worse Than Vegan became Better Than Vegan. And not only does BTV encompass the diet we choose, it also gives us the freedom to eat other things in small quantities every once in a while. So you're thinking oh, they never eat meat I couldn't do that I love steak too much...so do we! So every once in a while, about 3 times a year, Justin and I will go out to dinner and eat a steak. But it is no ordinary steak, oh no.....it is only the best of the steaks because we are not going to waste our night out and our time of abstinence from red meat on any old steak. It teaches you to really appreciate it when you splurge. We also have added back in a few things like shakeologey (which is very close to being BTV), honey, coffee, red wine, beer, and the occasional margarita! The difference between the way we treated the things we have added back in now is that it is in small quantities.

 So onto the story of the party! Justin's friend at work, Dani, has been wanting to add in more plant based foods into her diet, but she didn't know where to begin in preparing them. We had been talking with her for months about trying to come down and hang out on a weekend and we would cook for her. Well life in VA is insane and everyone is always very busy so it had taken us forever to get that day planned. Finally we both had a Saturday that would work, and we decided to have everyone over that we had wanted to have come over for months! So the BTV dinner party was born.

I absolutely love being a hostess! It was so much fun to watch everyone mingle and meet and new friendships being made right in my family room! We had several friends from church with their kids, my friends Ashley and Jeff from the gym and their 3 handsome sons, and Dani and her boyfriend! It was a blast!

We had red and white wine, some beers from the local brewery, and here is the menu:

Major's homemade salsa, guacamole, corn cilantro salsa, cowboy caviar, and a hummus I buy at Costco with tortilla chips, cracklesnacks (veggie crackers that rock), and pop chips to dip for appatizers.

Then we had oven roasted asparagus, grilled veggie kabobs, amazing grilled portabello caps, and quinoa with tomatoes and green chilies.

I made a fruit salad, and Justin was going to grill pineapple for dessert but we were all so full from the main course we forgot to put it out!

We also had about 10 kids at the house so we served them hot dogs (yes all beef) and they had an ice cream bar for dessert where they got to choose the toppings.

All and all everyone liked the food, and had a great time! I am already excited to plan the next dinner party. Justin says it needs to be a bring your own meat party to off set this one....we shall see!

Thank you to all of our friends for coming and having an open mind about the food!

Oh and check out my fun outfit I wore to the party....My mom got me this outfit for Christmas! I love it!